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• A guy with your IQ should have a low voice too!
• A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.
• After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.
• All of your ancestors must number in the millions; it's hard to believe that many people are to blame for producing you.
• All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?
• Any friend of yours ... is a friend of yours.
• Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!
• Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
• Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?
• Are your parents siblings?
• At least you are not obnoxious like so many other people - you are obnoxious in a different and worse way!
• Believe me, I don't want to make a monkey out of you. Why should I take all the credit?
• Better at sex than anyone, now all he needs is a partner.
• Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing!
• Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
• Can I borrow your face for a few days while my ass is on vacation?
• Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head!
• Converse with any plankton lately?
• Diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.
• Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today?
• Did you eat paint chips when you were a kid?
• Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
• Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
• Do you have to leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.
• Do you want me to accept you as you are or do you want me to like you?
• Doesn't know the meaning of the word fear, but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.
• Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!
• Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?
• Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone.
• Don't thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure.
• Don't think, it may sprain your brain!
• Don't you have a terribly empty feeling ---- in your skull?
• Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
• Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
• Don't you realize that there are enough people to hate in the world already without your working so hard to give us another?
• Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.
• Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
• Everyone is gifted. Some open the package sooner.
• Excellent time to become a missing person.
• Fat? You're not fat, you're just ... fat.
• For two cents I'd give you a piece of my mind - and all of yours.
• Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.
• Go fart peas at the moon!!!
• Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.
• Has reached rock bottom and shows signs of starting to dig.
• Has the IQ of lint.
• Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?
• He can open his mail with that nose!
• He doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.
• He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning.
• He is always lost in thought -- it's unfamiliar territory.
• He is dark and handsome. When it's dark, he's handsome.
• He is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
• He is living proof that man can live without a brain!
• He is so short, when it rains he is always the last one to know.
• He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.
• He named the street he owned after his wife. What a grand statement of his love for her; for she was cold, hard, cracked, and only gets plowed around the holidays.
• He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
• He'd steal the straw from his mother's kennel.
• Hello - tall, dark and obnoxious!
• Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!
• He's got that far away look. The farther he gets, the better he looks.
• He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.
• He's so dense that light bends around him.
• He's so fat, he has the only car in town with stretch marks.
• He's the first in his family born without a tail.
• He's the reason brothers and sisters shouldn't marry.
• He's so short he can sit on a piece of toilet paper and dangle his feet.
• Hey, act your age -- senile!
• Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?
• His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
• His origins are so low, you'd have to limbo under his family tree.
• His personality's split so many ways he goes alone for group therapy.
• How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
• I always wanted to be a trouble-shooter but now I see you are not worth it!
• I believe in respect for the dead; in fact I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
• I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
• I bet your mother has a loud bark!
• I can't seem to remember you name, and please don't help me!
• I can't talk to you right now; tell me, where will you be in ten years?
• I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
• I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!
• I don't know who you are, but whatever it is, I'm sure everyone will agree with me.
• I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
• I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?
• I don't want you to turn the other cheek. It's just as ugly.
• I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.
• I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.
• I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
• I hear you changed your mind! What did you do with the diaper?
• I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?
• I hear you were born on April 2; a day too late!
• I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
• I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.
• I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.
• I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame!
• I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be!
• I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you
• I like your approach, now let's see your departure.
• I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
• I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
• I want nothing out of you but breathing, and very little of that!
• I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.
• I would have liked to insult you, but with your intelligence you wouldn't get offended.
• I'd like to give you a going-away present...but you have to do your part.
• I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
• I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have a place to put it!
• I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
• I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
• I'd rather pass a kidney stone than spend another night with you.
• I'd slap you senseless...but I can't spare three seconds!
• If brains were rain, you`d be a desert.
• If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.
• If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents!
• If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
• If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad.
• If I want any shit outta you I'll squeeze your head.
• If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
• If I wanted to hear from an ass, I'd fart.
• If I were as ugly as you are, I wouldn't say hello, I'd say boo!
• If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
• If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!
• If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's practically invulnerable.
• If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!
• If you ever tax your brain, don't charge more than a penny.
• If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you get change back.
• If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
• If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid.
• If your brain were chocolate, it wouldn't fill an M&M.
• Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.
• I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
• I'm blonde, what's your excuse?
• I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
• I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
• I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.
• I'm not as dumb as you look.
• Is that your nose or are you eating a banana?
• I've only got one nerve left, and you're getting on it.
• I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!
• Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!
• Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.
• Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
• Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.
• Make a mental note . . . oh, I see you're out of paper!
• Make somebody happy. Mind your own business.
• Nice laugh, ever think about working in a haunted house?
• Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave good-bye.
• Of all the people I've met you're certainly one of them.
• Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
• Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
• People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect but you are doing all right.
• Please breathe the other way. You're bleaching my hair.
• She could eat a watermelon through a picket fence!
• She's got more chins than the Hong Kong telephone book.
• She's like Taco Bell. When people see her, they run for the border.
• She's so ugly they used to put a pot roast in her lap so the dog would play with her.
• She's so ugly, she'd make a freight train take a dirt road!
• So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.
• Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
• Some folks are so dumb, they have to be watered twice a week.
• Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was.
• Some people don't hesitate to speak their minds because they have nothing to lose.
• Talk is cheap, but so are you.
• The inbreeding is certainly obvious in your family.
• The next time you shave, could you stand a little closer to the razor?
• The only thing he brought to this job was his car.
• The overwhelming power of the sex drive was demonstrated by the fact that someone was willing to father you.
• The twinkle in his eyes is actually the sun shining between his ears.
• There is no vaccine against stupidity.
• They just invented a new coffin just for you that goes over the head. It's for people who are dead from the neck up.
• They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
• They say space is a dangerous place . . . especially if it's between your ears!
• They shot him through the stupid forest, and he didn't miss a tree.
• Thinking isn't your strong suit, is it?
• Too bad stupidity isn't painful.
• Well, I'll see you in my dreams - if I eat too much.
• What do you and a Tampax have in common? Both of you are stuck up bitches!
• What he lacks in intelligence, he more than makes up for in stupidity.
• Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic.
• When God was throwing intelligence down to the Earth, you were holding an umbrella.
• When you fell out of the ugly tree, you hit every branch on the way down.
• When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.
• Who am I calling "stupid"? I don't know. What's your name?
• Why don't you go to the library and brush up on your ignorance?
• You are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass.
• You are so dumb you sit on the TV and watch the sofa.
• You are so fat that I hear you were arrested three times for jay-walking when all the time you were just standing on the corner waiting for the light to change.
• You are so stupid you got hit by a parked car
• You could throw her in the river and skim ugly for two days.
• You don't sweat much, for a fat girl.
• You have a face only a mother could love - and she hates it!
• You have a good weapon against muggers - your face!
• You have an inferiority complex - and it's fully justified.
• You liked your first chin so much, you added two more.
• You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
• You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.
• You remind me of the ocean - you make me sick.
• You say that you are always bright and early. Well OK, we know you are early.
• You should be the poster child for birth control.
• You should toss out more of your funny remarks; that's all they're good for.
• You started at the bottom - and it's been downhill ever since.
• You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be made to suffer and here you came along.
• Your family tree is good but you are the sap.
• You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet.
• You're like one of those "idiot savants," except without the "savant" part.
• You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
• You're so dumb you thought Taco Bell was a phone company.
• You're so fat when you jumped up you got stuck.
• You're so fat you got baptized at Sea World.
• You're so fat you laid down in the ocean and Spain claimed you as the New World.
• You're so fat you saw 90210 on a scale.
• You're so fat you use hoola-hoops to keep your socks up.
• You're so old you drove a chariot to school.
• You're so stupid you threw a rock at the ground and missed.
• You're so ugly when you went to a haunted house they offered you a job.
• You're so ugly you almost look like your mother.
• You're so ugly you have to trick or treat over the phone.
• You're so ugly you make blind kids cry.
• You've got your head so far up your ass you can chew your food twice.
• You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.

1. When Coca-Cola began to be sold in China, they used characters that would sound like "Coca-Cola" when spoken. Unfortunately, what they turned out to mean was "Bite the wax tadpole". It did not sell well.
2. The glue on Israeli postage stamps is certified kosher.
3. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, and purple.
4. Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots.
5. More people are killed annually by donkeys than die in air crashes.
6. The Hawaiian alphabet only has 12 letters.
7. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.
8. If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
9. Pepsi originally contained pepsin, thus the name.
10. The original story from "Tales of 1001 Arabian Nights" begins, "Aladdin was a little Chinese boy."
11. Michael Jordan makes more money from NIKE annually than all of the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
12. The volume of the earth's moon is the same as the volume of the Pacific Ocean.
13. Spiral staircases in medieval castles are running clockwise. This is because all knights used to be right-handed. When the intruding army would climb the stairs they would not be able to use their right hand which was holding the sword because of the difficulties of climbing the stairs. Left-handed knights would have had no troubles, except left-handed people could never become knights because it was assumed that they were descendants of the devil.
14. Ham radio operators got the term "ham" coined from the expression "ham fisted operators," a term used to describe early radio users who sent Morse code (i.e., pounded their fist).
15. The slogan on New Hampshire license plates is "Live Free or Die." These license plates are manufactured by prisoners in the state prison in Concord.
16. Chinese Crested dogs can get acne.
17. Hydrogen gas is the least dense substance in the world, at 0.08988g/cc.
18. Hydrogen solid is the most dense substance in the world, at 70.6g/cc.
19. Each year there is one ton of cement poured for each man woman and child in the world.
20. The house fly hums in the middle octave key of F.
21. The only capital letter in the Roman alphabet with exactly one end point is P.
22. The giant red star Betelgeuse has a diameter larger than that of the Earth's orbit around the sun.
23. The longest place name still in use is: Taumatawhakatangihangaoauauotameteaturipukakapikimaunga--horonukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu--a New Zealand hill.
24. Los Angeles's full name is: "El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Poriuncula" and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, "LA."
25. Only 1 in 2,000,000,000 will live to be 116 or older.
26. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
27. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
28. According to Einstein's Special Theory of Relativity, it is possible to go slower than light and faster than light, but it is impossible to go the speed of light. Also, there is a particle called tackyon which is supposed to go faster than light. This means if you fire a tackyon beam, it travels before you fire it.
29. When you tie a noose, the rope is wrapped twelve times around because it's the same length as a persons head.
30. Hummingbirds are the only animal that can fly backwards.
31. A cat's jaw cannot move sideways.
32. If she were life size, Barbie's measurements are: 39-23-33.
33. "Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
34. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
35. Almonds are members of the peach family.
36. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
37. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
38. There are only four words in the English language which end in"-dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
39. A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
40. In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
41. Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
42. The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.
43. The characters Bert and Ernie on Sesame Street were named after Bert the cop and Ernie the taxi driver in Frank Capra's "Its A Wonderful Life"
44. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
45. A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.
46. On an American one-dollar bill, there is an owl in the upper right-hand corner of the "1" encased in the "shield" and a spider hidden in the front upper right-hand corner.
47. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.
48. Who's that playing the piano on the "Mad About You" theme? Why it's Paul Reiser himself.
49. The male gypsy moth can "smell" the virgin female gypsy moth from 1.8 miles away.
50. The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N, and O-Z, hence "Oz."
51. The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.
52. Mr. Rogers is an ordained minister.
53. John Lennon's first girlfriend was named Thelma Pickles.
54. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
55. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
56. A rainbow can occur only when the sun is 40 degrees or less above the horizon.
57. Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air.
58. When spelt phonetically, Esso means stalled car in Japan.
59. Tigers have round pupils and yellow irises (except for the blue eyes of white tigers). Due to a retinal adaptation that reflects light back to the retina, the night vision of tigers is six times better than that of humans.
60. In 1949, forecasting the relentless march of science, Popular Mechanics said "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
61. If the Loch Ness monster exists at all, he (or she) could only be about as big as a sixth grader. A new study shows that there is only enough fish in the loch to feed a 31 kg (about 67 lb) creature. The scientists used sonar to estimate the number of fish in the lake and came up with an annual food supply of 93 kg. Since a cold blooded animal like Nessie would need to eat about three times its body weight each year, it could only weigh about 31 kg.
62. Polar bears are left-handed.
63. Heinz Catsup leaving the bottle travels at 25 miles per year.
64. The maximum weight for a golf ball is 1.62 oz.
65. Only 1/3 of the people that can twitch their ears can twitch only one at a time.
66. The largest city in the United States with a one syllable name is Flint, Michigan.
67. The number of the trash compactor in Star Wars is 3263827.
68. Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave.
69. "Evian" spelled backvards is naive.
70. Charles de Gaulle's final words were, "It hurts."
71. Alexander the Great was an epileptic.
72. A donkey will sink in quicksand but a mule won't.
73. Napoleon constructed his battle plans in a sandbox.
74. The face of a penny can hold about thirty drops of water.
75. If you feed a seagull Alka-Seltzer, its stomach will explode.
76. Pigs can become alcoholics.
77. In Michigan, USA, a man legally owns his wife's hair.
78. Only 55% of all Americans know that the sun is a star.
79. "Kemo Sabe" means "soggy shrub" in Navajo.
80. A blue whale's tongue weighs more than an elephant.
81. There are more than 1,000 chemicals in a cup of coffee. Of these, only 26 have been tested, and half-caused cancer in rats.
82. The waste produced by one chicken in its lifetime can supply enough electricity to run a 100-watt bulb for five hours.
83. It takes 12,000 head of cattle to produce one pound of adrenaline.
84. 55,700 people in the US are injured by jewelry each year.
85. In the past 60 years, the groundhog has only predicted the weather correctly 28% of the time. The rushing back and forth from burrows is believed to indicate sexual activity, not shadow seeking.
86. Turkeys will peck to death members of the flock that are physically inferior or different.
87. In Miami, Florida, roosting vultures have taken to snatching poodles from rooftop patios.
88. Back in 1919 the Russian transplant pioneer Serge Voronoff made headlines by grafting monkey testicles onto human males.
89. 111,111,111 multiplied by 111,111,111 equals 12,345,678,987,654,321.
90. The average human has about 20 square feet of skin weighing about 6 pounds.
91. There is now an ATM at McMurdo Station in Antarctica, which has a winter population of 200.
92. Bulgaria was the only soccer team in the 1994 World Cup in which all 11 players' last names ended with the letters "OV."
93. The actor who played the T-1000 in Terminator 2 (Robert Patrick) and the lead singer of Filter are brothers.
94. Zip code 12345 is assigned to General Electric in Schenectady, N.Y.
95. The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.
96. Jackals have one more pair of chromosomes than dogs or wolves.
97. The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
98. Basenji dogs and Australian dingoes are virtually identical.
99. The same man who led the attack on the Alamo, Mexican Military General, Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna, is also credited with the invention of chewing gum.
100. A top freestyle swimmer achieves a speed of only 4 miles per hour. Fish, in contrast, have been clocked at 68 mph.
101. 500,000 tons of dog excrement are dumped annually on the streets of Paris.
102. The typical laboratory mouse runs 2.5 miles per night on its treadmill.
103. A 5 ft. 5 inch tall 27-year-old woman weighing in at 374 pounds outflabbed 1,000 competitors to win the title of fattest person in China. Her prize - a supply of diet food.
104. The average US worker toils for two hours and 47 minutes of each working day just to pay income tax. Indeed, the average American pays more in taxes than for food, clothing and shelter put together.
105. The longest recorded flight of a chicken is thirteen seconds.
106. Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
107. In the U.S. there is, on average, three sex change operations per day.
108. It only takes a male horse 14 seconds to copulate.
109. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit.
110. A group of crows is called a murder.
111. There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.
112. Rabbits and Horses cannot vomit.
113. The names of all the continents end with the letter they start with.
114. About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it.
115. A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee.
116. The Neanderthal's brain was bigger than yours is.
117. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
118. Dragonflies have a life span of only 24 hours.
119. Elephants are the only animal that can't jump.
120. In L.A., U.S.A., a man may legally beat his wife with a leather strap, as long as it is less than 2 inches wide.
121. 1/3 of Taiwanese funeral processions includes a stripper.
122. Dolphins sleep with one eye open.
123. The palms of your hands and the soles of your feet cannot tan.
124. No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.
125. The radioactive substance, Americanium - 241 is used in many smoke detectors.
126. The parachute was invented by Leonardo da Vinci in 1515.
127. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks otherwise it will digest itself.
128. Every Swiss citizen is required by law to have a bomb shelter or access to a bomb shelter.
129. Rennin, the enzyme obtained from the fourth stomach of a cow and used chiefly in the manufacture of cheese, is capable of coagulating more than 25,000 times its weight of fresh milk.
130. Tomatoes and cucumbers are fruits.
131. There is a place in Norway called "Hell".
132. Penguins can jump as high as 6 feet in the air.
133. There are more than 1,000 chemicals in a cup of coffee. Of these, only 26 have been tested, and half caused cancer in rats.
134. The average ice berg weighs 20,000,000 tons.
135. In Italy, a campaign for Schweppes Tonic Water translated the name into Schweppes Toilet Water.
136. The list of ingredients that make up lipstick include...fish scales.
137. Ants do not sleep.
138. In Texas, it's illegal to put graffiti on someone else's cow.
139. The USA bought Alaska from Russia for 2 cents an acre.
140. The first letters of the months July through November, in order, spell the name JASON.
141. No other animal gives us more by-products than the hog. These by-products include pig suede, buttons, glass, paint brushes, crayons, chalk, and insulation to name a few.
142. Cockroaches' favorite food is the glue on envelopes and on the back of postage stamps
143. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
144. Flush toilets date back to 2000 B.C.
145. The flatulation from domesticated cows produce about 30% of the methane on this planet.
146. Only 2 more blue moons (the saying "only once in a blue moon" refers to the occurence of two full moons during one calender month) are to occur between now and 2001. Those times are January 1999 and March 1999.
147. Hitler and Napolean both had only one testical.
148. Chimpanzees used in AIDS vaccine studies get a pension of more than $100,000 to pay for their care and containment for the duration of their natural lives. While it is possible to infect chimpanzees with HIV, they do not appear to get AIDS.
149. Even if you cut off a cockroach's head, it can live for several weeks.
150. Some toothpastes contain antifreeze.
151. A whale's penis is called a dork.
152. Armadillos are the only animal besides humans that can get leprosy.
153. The Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland was a symbolic character for the hat makers in towns of the late 1800's. The large felt hats of the day had supports made out of lead. The lead caused an organic form of psychosis (brain damage) to develop in the hat makers causing them to be declared crazy.
154. Some biblical scholars believe that Aramaic, the language of the ancient Bible, did not contain an easy way to say "many things" and used a term which has come down to us as 40. This means that when the bible -- in many places -- refers to "40 days," they meant many days.
155. Texas was once a country.
156. If you live in Michigan, did you know it's illegal to place a skunk inside your bosses desk?
157. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry ice cream in your back pocket.
158. Everyday, more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.
159. In the 19th century, the British Navy attempted to dispel the superstition that Friday is an unlucky day to embark on a ship. The keel of a new ship was laid on a Friday, she was named H.M.S. Friday, commanded by a Captain Friday, and finally went to sea on a Friday. Neither the ship nor her crew were ever heard of again.
160. Cats have over 100 vocal sounds, whereas, dogs only have about 10.
161. In 1681, the last dodo bird died.
162. Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
163. "Bookkeeper" is the only word in English language with three consecutive double letters.
164. There are more Barbie dolls in Italy than there are Canadians in Canada!
165. Emus cannot walk backwards.
166. The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.
167. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
168. The YKK on the zipper of your Levis stands for Yoshida Kogyo Kabushibibaisha, the worlds largest zipper manufacturer.
169. 97% of all paper money in the US contains traces of cocaine.
170. To force a tortoises' legs from its shell to treat it, you need to place your finger up it's bottom...
171. It is estimated that Americans will consume 10 million tons of Turkey on Thanksgiving day. Due to turkey's high sulphur content, Americans will also produce enough gas to fly a fleet of 75 Hindenbergs from L.A. to New York in 24 hours.
172. The slang word 'crap' came from T. Crapper, the man who invented the modern toilet.
173. The wingspan of a Boeing 747 is longer than the Wright brothers' first flight.
174. If you fart consistantly for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create an atomic bomb.
175. Approximately 97.35618329% of all statistics are made up...
176. You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider
177. The little bags of netting for gas lanterns (called 'mantles') are radioactive -- so much so that they will set of an alarm at a nuclear reactor.
178. A bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin during World War II killed every animal in the Berlin Zoo except the elephant, which escaped and roamed the city. When a Russian commander saw hungry Germans chasing the elephant and trying to kill it, he ordered his troops to protect it and shoot anyone who tried to kill it
179. Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are registered blood donors.
180. Carnivorous animals will not eat another animal that has been hit by a lightning strike.
181. Cat's urine glows under a black light.
182. The first Ford cars had Dodge engines.
183. The dot over the letter 'i' is called a tittle.
184. To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs-it will let you go instantly.
185. Reindeer like to eat bananas.
186. In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.
187. The Sanskrit word for "war" means "desire for more cows."
188. The Boston University Bridge (on Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, Massachusetts) is the only place in the world where a boat can sail under a train driving under a car driving under an airplane.
189. Montpelier, Vermont is the only U.S. state capital without a McDonalds.
190. Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously
191. 2.5 cans of Spam are consumed every second in the United States
192. Chevrolet tried marketing a Chevrolet Nova in spanish speaking countries. It didn't sell well because NOVA means "doesn't go" in spanish. (thanks to Selma!)
193. Every continent begins and ends in the same letter. eg AfricA, EuropE (and just to appease some idiot that didn't figure it out, in North and South America, i'm talking about the America part).
194. Every continent has a city called Rome.
195. The word "sophomore" means "sophisticated moron."

• Run through the halls of your office building or school with your arms outstretched, making airplane noises. Periodically crash into pedestrians and lose a wing. Spiral to a crash and repeat.
• Consistently refer to everyone as 'mortal.'
• Frantically change the date on people's computers back 50 years, and claim that you are trying to save humanity from the "Year 2000 Bug."
• Continually try to get all of the people who write you letters to put cellophane tape over their stamps so that you can wipe off the postmark and reuse them.
• Tape a blank piece of typing paper to your dorm or office door and leave it up for ages; when someone finally writes on it, yell at them and tell them to please not deface your property.
• Any time a member of the opposite sex tries to talk to you, hold your hand up to prevent them from saying anything and say, "Look, I know what you're going to ask me... For the last time, no, I will NOT go out with you."
• Wear alarming combinations of pink and green and comment about everybody else's fashion sense.
• Step on the heels of the person in front of you, and ask them to watch where they're going.
• Force everyone to remove their shoes when they enter your office "to prevent contamination."
• Hang around national monuments all day, trying to get in other people's vacation photos. Afterwards, give them your address and ask them to send you a print when they get them developed.
• Run around holding your elbows and asking people to please take the straightjacket off you.
• Every time you see a particular coworker, shout, "So we meet again!" and laugh evilly.
• Tell people that they're "putting on weight nicely."
• Remove single socks from laundry machines at public laundromats. Replace them bright red scarves which are especially prone to bleeding.
• Slap people and tell them to stop grabbing your ass.
• Rearrange the keys on associates' keyboards to spell unflattering things about their mothers.
• Whenever someone lights a cigarette, tackle the person and yell "Stop, drop, and roll!"
• Plead with the person next to you for the window seat on the plane, and then get up fifteen or twenty times during the course of the flight complaining that you should have taken two spoonsful of "The Pink Stuff".
• Close your eyes and start snoring whenever anyone tries to talk to you.
• When at dinner at a fancy restaurant, keep blowing out the candle in the middle of the table, and blame it on your date.
• On the public bus, keep asking the driver nervously, "are we there yet?"
• Poke anyone near you and say, "stop violating my personal space."
• Walk around at the casino, looking at people's hands and giving them advice loudly. "Wow, that's a GOOD one!" or "Get rid of the nine; you've got a pair of kings!"
• Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
• Drum on every available surface.
• Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
• Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
• Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
• Specify that your drive-through order is "to-go".
• Honk and wave to strangers.
• Change Channels five minutes before the end of every show.
• Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
• Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!".
• Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and re route whole streets.
• Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
• Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
• Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
• Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
• Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
• Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
• Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
• Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
• Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".
• Pay for your dinner with pennies.
• Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
• Light road flares on a birthday cake.
• Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
• At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
• When Christmas carolling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
• Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
• As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
• Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
• Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
• While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
• Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
• Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
• Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
• Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
• Mow your lawn with scissors.
• At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
• Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
• Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
• Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
• Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
• Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
• Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
• Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" people with it, pronouncing the results.
• Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
• Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
• Make appointments for the 31st of September.
• Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
• Walk up to someone eating in a restaurant, lean over and stare at them intently until they notice, continue doing so until they ask what your doing and reply: "I've been watching you eat for the last 30 seconds, YOU'RE WEIRD!!!" And leave the resteraunt
• On any night except Halloween, Get a few friend together, dress each exactly the same (as Jason from Friday the 13th), and place each one a mile apart on an unlit highway.
• Throw an Oh Henry in a public pool
• Call every pager number you know and leave the number for your local McDonalds
• Wash & scrub the trees in your front lawn
• Throw newspapers back at paperboys
• Tell people their fly is down when they're wearing sweat pants
• Stand on a busy corner and look up. see how many other people look up
• Claim you are fluent in over 6 million forms of communication - constantly, every time any language is mentioned, even if the comment is not directed to you
• Start to build a Star Destroyer. Build a mock-up out of popsicle sticks.
• In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
• Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
• Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
• Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
• Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace."
• Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
• Call someone and ask for someone that you know is not there then hang up. Call again about a half hour latter and ask for the same person then hang up again. Wait another half hour and call again and ask for that person again and then hang up again and wait a hour and call the same number and say that you are the person that you have been calling for and ask if you had any messages.

Interesting stuffz