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Ghetto Test
If the statement is true add the points in parenthesis to your score.
Scoring is given at the bottom of the test.
1. You've ever used an album cover or old envelope for a dustpan. (5
points)
2. You've ever put foil on your TV antennas to get better reception.
(8 points)
3. You've ever had to use pliers to turn your TV on. (7points)
4. You had to come in the house when the street lights came on. (6
points)
5. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood. (5 + 5 extra points if
your house was the candy lady)
6. If you can count more than five police cars in your neighborhood on
a daily basis. (3 points)
7. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt. (3 points for
each)
8. If you've ever been beaten with an extension cord. (15 points)
9. If you have ever had to walk to or home from school. (2 points)
10. If you've ever passed someone a note asking "Do you like me?" or
"Can I have a chance?" check _yes, _no or _maybe. (7 points)
11. If you have ever used dish washing liquid for bubble bath.
(9points)
12. If you have ever mixed up some Kool-Aid and the found that you
didn't have any sugar. (4 points & add 4 if you put the pitcher in the
refrigerator until you got some sugar)
13. If you have ever played any of the following games. (2 points
each): (hide and go seek, freeze tag, captain or momma may I?, or red
light..yellow light..green light 123!)
14. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man. (2 points + 2 if he
rang a bell + 5 if he played R&B)
15. If you remember any of the following candies. (1 point each):
cherry clans, lemon heads, Alexander the grape, ring pops, Chico
sticks, baked beans, candy cigarettes, powder packs with the white dip
stick, big league chew, "Wine" Candy (jolly ranchers), jaw breakers,
and candy necklaces.
16. If you refer to Now and Laters candies as "Nighladers". (6 points)
17. If you've ever ran from the police on foot. (5 points + 5 if you
got away)
18. If you remember underoos or the Wonder Woman bra and panty set. (6
points + 4 if you owned some)
19. If you've ever had reusable grease in a container on your stove.
(5 points)
20. The batteries in your remote control are held in by a piece of
tape. (5 points)
21. If you've ever used any of the following for drinking glasses. (3
points each): jelly jars, mayonnaise jars, mason jars, or peanut
butter jars.
22. You've ever covered your furniture in plastic. (2 points)
23. The heels of your feet have ever looked like you had been kicking
flour. (1point)
24. If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances. (1 point
each): Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English
Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge'.
25. You've ever used Tussy. (9 points)
26. You've never been to the dentist. (10 points + 10 if you've never
been to the doctor.)
27. You've ever wore clothes with the tag still on them. (4 points)
28. If you're acquainted with someone with a name as follows. (3
points): Kay-Kay, Lee-Lee, Ree-Ree, Ray-Ray, etc.
29. You have ever paged yourself for any reason. (3 points)
30. You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house. (2 points)
31. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense
(for example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc). (3 points)
32. You pronounce words like this (1 point for each example you can
think of skrimps or strimps, skreet, axe (ask), member (remember),
frigerator, etc.
33. You use nem' to describe a certain group of people (for example
Craig and nem' or momma and nem'). (6 points)
34. You've ever had a crack across your windshield and never bothered
to get it fixed. (3 points)
35. You've ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat.
(4 points)
36. You've ever asked a perfect stranger to take a picture with you
and told your friends it was someone you dated. (3 points)
37. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking
it. (7 points)
38. If you've ever ran a race barefoot in the middle of the street at
approximately 11 at night. (10 points)
39. You've ever left a social gathering with a plate. (1 point)
40. You leave a restaurant with silverware, sugar, and/or jelly. (8
points)
41. You think "red" is a flavor of Kool-Aid. (4 points)
42. You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails. (3
points)
43. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words. (8 points)
44. You don't have your own place but your child has a leather coat
and a pair of Jordan's. (5 points)
45. If you've ever had to get to the driver's side of the car through
the passenger side door. (8 points)
46. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair. (7
points)
47. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?" (10
points)
48. You won't answer the phone if you don't recognize the number on
the caller id box. (7 points)
49. You know a child who can't speak, but can do the "bank-head
bounce." (15 points)
50. You think Tupac is still alive. (20 points)
Scoring
0 - 30 - You have enjoyed a nice sheltered life in the suburbs.
31 - 60 - Hood movies have given you a little exposure.
61 - 100 - You may have visited the hood a few times or on weekends.
101 - 130 - You probably spent a few years in the hood, and moved to
the suburbs.
131 - 160 - You're the genuine article. You are no stranger to hood
life.
161 - 200 - You are definitely, without a doubt an expert on life in
the hood.
201+ - Congratulations! You are Ghetto Fabulous! |
Internet
Junkie Test
Have you been spending more and more time using the Internet? Have
your cheeks taken on that pasty white glow from over-exposure to your
computer monitor? How do you know if you're addicted to the Net and
losing touch with reality? Take the Net Addict's Reality Test.
Answer the following multiple choice questions and check out your
score to see if you should be concerned:
What do you think are good names for children?
a) Scott and Jenny.
b) Bill Gates IV.
c) Mozilla and Dotcom.
What's a telephone?
a) A thing with a round dial you use to talk to others.
b) A telecommunications device with 12 keys.
c) Something you plug into a modem.
Which punctuation is most correct?
a) I had a wonderful day!
b) I had a **wonderful** day!!!
c) I had a wonderful day :-)
You wake up at 4:00 a.m. and decide to:
a) Visit the washroom.
b) Raid the fridge.
c) Check your E-mail.
What are RAM and ROM?
a) A male sheep and a city in Italy.
b) Hulking stars of the WWF.
c) I need more of the former and should upgrade the latter.
To avoid a virus you should:
a) Stay away from people who sneeze and cough.
b) Never read E-mail titled "Good Times".
c) Use virus scanning software every time you boot up.
When you want to buy something hard-to-find you:
a) Ask friends where to purchase it.
b) Check out the Yellow Pages.
c) Go to Yahoo!
When you don't understand how to use a new appliance you:
a) Call the retailer.
b) Call the manufacturer's toll-free number.
c) Visit the manufacturer's Web site and look for the FAQ.
When you want to see all the beautiful people you:
a) Visit a club on a Saturday night.
b) Turn on the TV and tune in to Baywatch.
c) Check out the alt.binary newsgroups.
How do you introduce yourself at a party?
a) Hi, I'm Jane!
b) Hi, I'm a Taurus on the cusp.
c) Hi, I'm a 5'10" hot blonde with a super bod.
When you're interested in someone at a party you say:
a) Tell me more about yourself.
b) What's your star sign?
c) What's your Profile?
If you really like the person, you say:
a) Could you tell me your phone number?
b) What's your E-mail address?
c) Let's chat Private.
When I say spam, you think:
a) Ham in a can.
b) Unsolicited advertising E-mail.
c) I mailbomb all spammers!
When you receive an AOL trial diskette, you say:
a) I don't need another mug coaster.
b) Great! I'll reformat and use it for backups.
c) Great! I'll sign up under a fake ID and use up the 50 hours.
When you want to research a reference you:
a) Open up a volume of your encyclopedia.
b) Slip Encarta in your CD-ROM drive.
c) Go to www.altavista.digital.com.
When you write a letter you:
a) Put pencil to paper.
b) Open Eudora.
c) Ask: What's a letter? Is it like E-mail?
Different types of text formatting include:
a) Writing and printing.
b) Underline and double-strike.
c) Bold and italic.
You correct errors using:
a) An eraser.
b) White-out.
c) Backspace or delete.
You sign your name:
a) Best regards, John Smith.
b) See you in IRC, John_Smith.
c) Check out my home page for the cool links, johnsmith@aol.com.
To keep a copy of your letter you:
a) Insert a carbon and a second sheet.
b) Take it to the photocopier.
c) Check your Sent Mail folder.
SCORING:
Give yourself zero points for each "a" response, five for each "b" and
10 for each "c".
If you scored 150 or higher, unplug your computer and log more hours
in real life. If you scored between 50 and 145, you're living a good
mix of Net and reality. If you scored under 50, you probably didn't
read this far.
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